When I first started drafting this post, I envisioned writing something very different. Something happier, and more exciting, and full of life. I haven't written since mid-January because we've been keeping a big exciting secret! And now that it's common knowledge, I've debated putting something so intensely personal online for the world to find. I have to remember that my situation and my life is not for me but for Him, the one who gave me life and a purpose.
A week ago, B and I were flying home to surprise our families with both our presence...
and some much-anticipated news - which went over really well (see below video).
And then after all the festivities, we had one more surprise that no one was expecting. A week ago, I miscarried.
What was and is horribly sad and unexpected would have been 1000X worse if we had been 800 miles away from my mom and not been surrounded by family. So we're thankful that in God's wisdom and timing we were home with family. There haven't been any huge medical complications and we're coping as well as we can under the circumstances. We're sad, and questioning our decisions, and taking one day at a time as we turn to each other for comfort.
But I want to rise ABOVE these circumstances. If you have gone through anything similar, I want to hear your stories. If you have any praise/worship songs that have gotten you through tough times, I want those recommendations. Most of all, I don't want miscarriage to be a horrible shameful secret.
Facts About MiscarriageDid you know that 15%-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage in the first trimester? That's 1 in 5 women that will go through this. If miscarriage is so common, why does no one talk about it? I have received so much support from my female family members that endured and overcame miscarriages but had never talked about them before. If you have experienced a miscarriage or a stillbirth (or God forbid both) PLEASE reach out to me. PLEASE talk about it. There is healing and comfort in community.
Do I Blame Myself for My Miscarriage?I've been struggling with the "Why Me?" and "What are B and I supposed to be learning from this horrible and sad experience?" and I think this is it. I don't want to be alone going through this, and I don't want others to feel alone. I want to be a resource for other women who are looking for someone to talk to. It's so easy to shut others out and grieve privately, but that is not what Christ wants for us. We are designed to live in community. B and I are striving to be intentional in relationships that are real and messy and seek to honor God, even when all we want to do is shut the world out and be sad with each other. If we lack joy, it is because we lack faith.
Verses & Music That Are Seeing Me Through
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." ~ James 1:2-3
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ~ Romans 8:18
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. ~ Jeremiah 29:11
I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. ~ Philemon 1:12
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. ~ Matthew 5:4
As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. ~ Ecclesiastes 11:5
|Please enjoy this playlist I've put together from recommendations from some amazing ladies that are members of The Sassy Club and River Market Community Church.