Morgan ma Belle

God is good, regardless of your circumstance.

He is good in the victory.
He is good in the heartbreak.
He is good in the trials.
He is good in the dark times.
And He is good in the breakthroughs.

I didn't want to write the typical end of year round-up because this hasn't been a typical year. Together, B and I have walked through the highest highs and the lowest lows either of had ever experienced.

2018 began with the biggest surprise of all, one that happened much sooner than we thought it would and quite a bit before we thought we were ready -- but when are you ever really ready to become parents? But before we began preparing and training and studying and sharing, we were taken breathless by unimaginable heartbreak. I, who had never dated in high school and married my college sweetheart, was ill-equipped to handle heartbreak.

We learned to love each other through the pain and grief of miscarriage, and our relationship with each other and Christ grew and strengthened. Boy or girl we never knew, but our Baby P was loved. It didn't matter that Baby P lived only 10 weeks and had never been held or snuggled or kissed; Baby P was our first. And the first thing that she saw (yes, I think our baby was a she) on March 2, 2018, where maybe she was greeted by aunts and uncles and held by my great-grandmother, was the face of Jesus.

And though my miscarriage was the BIGGEST event in 2018 for us, it wasn't by far the only one and with the support of our family, it wasn't an all-consuming one! Like I said, 2018 held a lot of highs for us, too.

We're well on our way to the financial independence we've been working toward since we married (take that, student loans!).
I let real true friendships develop and deepen in a way that I've shied away from since college.
Two of our best friends got married and had one fabulous party to celebrate #branandshangetweddingbands
I walked in 5 runway shows in Kansas City, (with 2 more already booked for 2019 in KC and Austin)
I really focused on developing this blog and my portfolio by taking the time to treat it like a business (take a look at those new Facebook reviews!).
We've moved back to Texas and I type this post from our cozy apartment in west Austin where we're only an hour or so away from our closest family.
Our church, friend circle, and family grew with the healthy births of 4 beautiful babies 👶🏼, 1 wedding 👰🏻, and 1 engagement 💍.

So here I am closing out the year with an angel watching over us, blessings surrounding us, and maybe - just maybe - a new (furry) family member joining us soon.

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B and I are no stranger to long-distance. When we started dating I was 19 and we lived in two different central Texas cities. It wasn't until 3 years later and within the 6 weeks in which we planned our wedding that we even lived in the same city. You can read more about our wedding planning in this post.

Now that we're 100% pursuing moving back to Texas, he's spent the majority of the past month in Austin & San Antonio while I've stayed in Kansas City to organize our belongings, walk once more in Kansas City Fashion Week, and hammer out the logistics of working remotely for my current company.

3 weeks apart from him in August was hard. Here's the real kicker: this time, it's 5 weeks before I'll see him in person again. October 5th can not get here fast enough!

If you saw my latest insta, I listed a few things that have been keeping me going through this final (fingers crossed! 🤞🏼) stretch of separation.

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It's Thursday! That means Brian has already been gone an entire week (trust me, I'm counting) and there's only a month to go before I'll join him in our new home! Right now, this period of waiting and distance absolutely and utterly sucks. And it's my fault! Someone just had to stay for her final season of @kc_fashionweek and walk for @kalon_by_kayla... Priorities, am I right? So what's keeping me encouraged? Aside from the photo dump of my favorite person hitting my stories later today... This verse 👉🏻 "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." ~Romans 12:12 🎨Friend dates + craft nights. Give me nachos and scrapbook paper and I'm good to go! 🍦 @bettyraes new location just down the street. More specifically, the Blueberry & Corn flavor on waffle cone. 📚Regular trips to the library. My current read is The Jane Austen Project by Kathleen A. Flynn 📦Minimizing + sorting. Deciding what to keep - and move 💪🏻 - what to sell and what to donate is both stressful and therapeutic. Trying to sell clothes @platosclosetstyle regularly backfires. Wearing @heartandhips jumpsuit (it has POCKETS!) And a vintage head band courtesy of @battlemom7 #kcmo #jowlercreekwinery #kansascity #visitkansascity #howwedokc #localkc #rivermarket #kcfw #travelmodel #runwaymodel #winery #tlpicks #ShopStyle #shopthelook #TravelOutfit #OOTD #MyShopStyle #SummerStyle

A post shared by Morgan May Pashen (@morgan.ma.belle) on Sep 6, 2018 at 8:56am PDT

Here are a few more to add to the list.

1. Stock up on your favorite movies and books.

That meant a trip to Half Price Books for me to pick up some childhood favorites by Tamora Pierce and Shannon Hale that weren't available at the library, and of course The Mummy (yes, that one with Brendan Frasier).

2. Watch movies or TV shows simultaneously together.

Before B left, we had been working through the Murdoch Mysteries TV series. Since Hulu doesn't take us all the way up the latest seasons, we've had to rewatch old episodes. We even tried to Netflix Party a random movie, but experienced some technical glitches. We're trying out Sync Video next.

3. Leave behind a love note scavenger hunt

B left notecards for me to find in places he knew I'd seek out. On top of the cereal box, inside my Pride and Prejudice DVD, on top of my Anne of Green Gables books, inside one of my Harry Potter books, stuck to my mirror in the bedroom, and elsewhere. Each had a cute note or memory or instruction from him to keep me from moping while he's away.

4. Snapchat lets you video call!

Take advantage of it. 😉

5. Learn a language together.

We started using Duolingo when we were preparing for our Italy vacation last summer. We've continued to compete with each other as we learn Spanish. I'm still winning.

6. Start a private book club

One of our wedding presents was the 5 Love Languages Bible. We only recently started reading through it together and participating in the daily devotionals. Because our spiritual wellbeing as a couple and as a family is very important to us when we're near or far, we want to continue growing in our faith even at a distance. It's easy for me to send him a quick text with the verses for the day, and then we can discuss on the phone in the evening.

7. Nothing beats a handwritten letter.

Become penpals. It's so easy to take advantage of all the technology we have - Snapchat, Gmail, Facebook, Instagram, cell phones - and you should take advantage of all of it! But there is something deeply romantic about a handwritten letter written by your love. Buy yourself some pretty stationary, stock up on stamps, and keep that perfume handy.

8. Lean on your friends.

Plan a girls' night, meet up for lunch, send each other stupid memes. Sure, going out as the third-wheel or in a big group can feel strange if your S/O is normally right alongside you, but guess what? It's kinda fun. Don't let yourself sit alone at home if what will make you feel better is going out to the dog park or meeting up for coffee with your bestie.

I'll add this here - I have no idea how to survive living alone and getting sick. If one of my best friends hadn't been able to come by with Nyqil, homemade chicken noodle soup, and a book to read when I got sick the very first night after B left, I would have been in trouble.

9. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need.

Is one phone call a day just not cutting it? Does it drive you crazy if your S/O doesn't respond to a text until hours later? Do you want more goofy snaps and selfies as you go about your day? Communication is key, even in established relationships. Is requesting your S/O create a bitmoji a little ridiculous? Maybe! But does it make you feel better and is it not a huge imposition on him? Then go for it!

10. Plan your reunion

B has already told me about all of the new recipes he can't wait to make for me. Trust me, I've missed his cooking and can't wait for some yummy new meals that we can share together. We've also started a list of must-sees in Austin, and I've started a Pinterest board for how we (in all seriousness, how I) want to decorate our new apartment. It's nice to look forward to the future with excitement and a goal, instead of focusing on how hard the right now is.

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The first half of 2018 hasn't been very travel-heavy for us -- which has been refreshing! I've been able to focus on decorating our apartment, working on business plans & budgets with B, and start recording what I enjoyed or disliked about our previous trips as I started our new joint Instagram account - @thepashenpassport.

1. Phone charger

So this one is a bit of a no-brainer, but I figured it's a must on the list! Both our phones take the same charger, and since they are our main (only) camera, having them nice and charged up while we travel is muy importante. An external battery may be worth looking into as well.

2. Make-up Bag

I never want to risk my make up getting lost or damaged because it would be such a pain and expense to replace items when we land, so I keep my every-day make up essentials with me in my personal bag. This includes my Bio Oil, Purlisse foundation & Estee Lauder eyeshadow palette, toothbrush + toothpaste, extra hair ties & hairpins, and the all-important eye drops because contacts are so dang temperamental. I favor a clear cosmetic bag when I'm traveling just in case security wants to take a look at what's inside & it's easy for me to find what I want quickly, but my everyday bag is either my Jon Hart bag or my Estee Lauder cosmetic bag. Keep it small and minimal so it fits into your purse or carry on!

3. Book

I have a few favorites that often make it on my travels. The Witch of Blackbird Pond is a small paperback that has made it on my airplanes & road trips with me. As familiar as an old friend and such a convenient size! My other go-to is a book of logic puzzles or sudoku puzzles. Gives me something to concentrate on and I feel like that extra bit of brain exercise can't hurt.

4. Cozy Sweater

I cannot stand being cold. My mom told me the horror story that was her 5-hour honeymoon flight to Hawaii from San Francisco and I vowed to never put myself through that. Hence, the ever-present cozy cardi.

What’s something you always pack in your carry on?

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God is good, regardless of your circumstance.

He is good in the victory.
He is good in the heartbreak.
He is good in the trials.
He is good in the dark times.
And He is good in the breakthroughs.

1. Stock up on your favorite movies and books.

2. Watch movies or TV shows simultaneously together.

3. Leave behind a love note scavenger hunt